Originally published December 9, 2011

I hate what this country has become. We have got to be the biggest group of self-righteous, overly-entitled crybabies in the history of ever.

This is what you look like. All the time. Except you’re not this cute. #SorryNotSorry

Jesus (or whoever you worship, I’m an equal-opportunity blasphemer), people, get over yourselves.

When did we get to this point…this point where you can’t sneeze without someone taking offense to it? Why do we spend so much of our energy finding things to be offended by?!

Now, I could go on about quite a few “entitled” groups. I’ve got rants saved up for everyone from Alec Baldwin to welfare recipients. However, today I have some specific bones to pick.

I’m talking, in particular, about two things I read today on CafeMom. First, you have this amazing design by a South Korean architect – which, I’ll admit, does resemble the Twin Tower explosions. However, do I think it was intentional? No. Do I think it’s something we need to get all up in arms about? Hell no. I think it is a freaking awesome concept that would make the coolest apartment complex EVER. But, wouldn’t you know it, people in America got their panties in a twist over this rendering that was done by a SOUTH KOREAN architect for apartments that would be built in SOUTH KOREA. And the architect (who decided to be the bigger person, even though he had no obligation to do so) issued an official apology for unintentionally designing something that somewhat resembles that image. Dear God, it all just makes my head hurt. For the sake of my sanity, I really hope the design doesn’t get scrapped because our country feels like the world owes us something.

Honestly, is the ENTIRE WORLD supposed to walk on eggshells for eternity because of one thing that happened 10 years ago in OUR COUNTRY? I sure as hell hope not, because that sets a dangerous precedent for us…I mean, theoretically we then need to be sensitive to every single tragedy that has ever occurred in any other country and try to make sure we don’t offend anyone.

That’s a pretty tall order.

But, to tell you the truth, the terrorists may already have gotten what they were hoping for. Because instead of turning around after 9/11 and showing the world that we will take shit from NOBODY, we have used that day as the wound that will not heal, and we are going to keep licking that wound until doomsday. We built a memorial. That’s called giving in. We should have rebuilt the towers one story taller, as a metaphorical giant middle finger to the terrorists.

So there’s that annoyance.

Then you have the city of Boca Raton, FL. Officials in this city are so sick of their citizens bitching and moaning about the holiday decorations in public offices (Christmas trees offend me! Not having Christmas trees offends me!), that they’ve scrapped the whole practice. Now, their public employees get to sit around in their miserable, undecorated offices for the whole miserable season. Because that’s what it’s become.

Well, I have news for you, complaining citizens: NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, the decorations in those offices reflect the people WORKING there. You know, the people who have to sit in there listening to your bullshit day in and day out? The people who were just looking for a little holiday cheer reflective of what they celebrate to brighten their moods? You want to know why your specific holiday wasn’t represented? BECAUSE YOU DON’T WORK THERE. And the world does not have to cater to you. You’re offended by the Kwanzaa decorations over by that cubicle? Aww, let me see your sad panda face. That worker celebrates Kwanzaa, get over it. This entire office is decorated for Christmas only? That’s because EVERYONE HERE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS. You don’t? That’s ok, you’re more than welcome to decorate your office however you want.

Oh, but people from all different walks of life come in here, so they should be represented? No. They shouldn’t. Because office decorations are not there to boost the morale of visitors or customers. They are there to boost the morale of the OFFICE.

It’s wonderful to live in a free country, isn’t it?

QUIT FINDING REASONS TO BE OFFENDED. Our complete inability to put on our adult panties and not make everything into a freaking lawsuit has made us the laughing stock of most of the world. We’re so consumed with our own selfish bullshit that we can’t just accept that not everything is about US.

(Also, I just heard “Feed the World” on the radio, and really listened to the lyrics, and there’s a line in there about people in Africa and do they even know it’s Christmastime? Well, maybe they do…but do they care? I mean, I’m not aware of whether the majority of Africa celebrates Christmas, but I wouldn’t count on it. See, we’ve been self-obsessed idiots for decades! At least!)

When I worked at Dillons, I would tell people “Merry Christmas.” You know why? Because I celebrate Christmas. A few people told me “Happy Hannukah!” in reply. And that’s just fine. It put a smile on my face to have other people, who were not of my faith, wish me well in their own way. If you want to tell me “Happy Kwanzaa” or “Happy Giant Spaghetti Monster Day!” I will accept that greeting happily.

If we could spend less time finding ways to be pissed at everyone around us, and more time finding ways to fix this broken mess of a country we live in – I mean, actually fix it and not just sit around complaining about what Obama is or is not doing and then waiting around for the next guy to make it all better (because that’s not going to happen, if you’d like a reality check – it’s pretty much up to us) we’d be much happier. I promise.

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