Originally published October 9, 2014

So, I’m just going to throw this out there.

If you have a wedding coming up, and you didn’t invite every single person on your Facebook “friends” list, it may not be the most appropriate thing to do to put out a public post asking people to RSVP to your wedding.

If you have done this, I probably need to explain to you why it’s not the best way to get people to RSVP.

I didn’t get an invitation to your wedding, and I’m now wondering several things:

1.) Why not?

2.) Was I supposed to?

3.) If I wasn’t supposed to….refer to question 1.

4.) If I was supposed to, how will I find that out so I can RSVP

I would love to be able to find out the answer to #2, but there is no easy way to do that. I can’t flat out ask you without putting you on the spot and possibly making you feel guilty forĀ  not inviting me. You shouldn’t feel obligated to invite me. It’s your special day, not mine, and you have your reasons for not inviting me. I’m cool with that, and you have no obligation to tell me what those reasons are. I’m still going to be SUPER happy for you, and I might even hold my own satellite celebration. You never know.

But, if you DID mean to invite me, and I don’t RSVP, it’s sending you a message that I didn’t care enough to send an RSVP, which is absolutely not true. I always RSVP. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t care about your wedding enough to even send in an RSVP. Seriously. Don’t think that, because it wouldn’t happen.

What you’ve done, though, instead of solving your RSVP situation, is generated a great deal of doubt in a large number of people who saw your post and never received an invitation.

GOOD NEWS! There is a way to avoid this!

Since most people who don’t receive a wedding invitation (barring immediate family members and your best friend of all time) assume they simply weren’t invited, you can avoid the awkwardness by sending a targeted message – or an email! – to the people you DID invite whom you haven’t received RSVPs from. That way, the people you need to reach are reached, and the people you don’t need to reach AREN’T.

Simple. Clean.

Thanks for listening.

img source: https://www.etsy.com/listing/197771243/top-quality-tungsten-carbide-wedding?ref=shop_home_active_16

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