I’M SO INCREDIBLY LAME
Originally published November 10, 2011
It’s true. And I could just end the post right there with no explanation. Anyone that knows me is probably very aware of how truly lame I am. True story. Just look at this ^^. Ridiculously lame. (Also…man I wish I was still small enough to do that…)
However, the reason I bring this fact up is that I am 99% sure I have lost whatever stunted social skills I once possessed. Tonight, while at the grocery store with my two hellions angelic children, I ran into a friend acquaintance person I’ve known for a long time. What…12 years now?
We first met during a community theatre production of The Beverly Hillbillies, and I’m fairly certain everyone in that cast thought of me as “Super-Awesome Vicky’s Younger, Slightly Annoying, Socially Stunted Sister”. (Which is fine, considering most of my sister’s friends literally had no idea I existed. It’s a step up!) Anyway, over the years I have shared the stage (or at least the building) with this individual on several occasions. I’ve always enjoyed this person’s company.
Well, tonight, I saw him coming into the grocery store and I’m sure my face just lit up with an OMFGIKNOWTHISPERSONYAYYAYYAY!!! look. He spotted me, and said hello. Then there was this incredibly awkward moment when I stopped, but he was clearly planning on just continuing his trajectory to the bakery section, and he sort of half-stopped-half-stepped to an almost-behind-me position. I could tell he had no intention of having a conversation with me, and I (despite being thrilled about seeing a person that I am actually quite fond of) had nothing to say. So, we had a very forced conversation about theatre – whether I plan on doing it again (which I will, if I can snag a babysitter that will work for free every night for about 2 months). Then there was an awkward “Ok, great seeing you!”, and we parted ways.
I know my face was completely red because I could feel it burning all the way to the car, and I was dreading seeing him again the entire time I was using the self-checkout. Not because I didn’t want to see him, mind you. Because I knew, at that moment, that I am completely socially inept. And I don’t know if it’s because I have kids and my entire life revolves around them and work, or if I’ve always been this way and just didn’t realize it before.
Either way, ended the evening feeling like a complete dork who can’t hold intelligent conversations with other adults. Super.